A "Jon Samuels Christmas"

Last night was Christmas Eve' eve (yes, you read that right- the night before Christmas Eve). At 3:30 AM, I was awakened by one of the annoying dogs that live near my apartment building. This jerk of a dog was barking at a steady beat about once every 4 seconds (like a metronome)... and he wouldn't stop.
Now there are 5 dogs that live at this one house that is about 100 yards from our apartment building that are always interrupting my sleep- usually when I am trying to fall asleep around midnight or early in the morning at 5 AM. I have heard them as early as 4 AM, but usually it is when someone walks, bikes or rides past them on a motorcycle; they bark and then stop.
This was different; the dang thing would not shut up- just a steady bark. And it was only one, not a group (until he finally stirred the others to bark also). I don't remember if my window (on the 14th floor) was open, but I know I got up to check it and if it was open, I closed it. But I could still hear him. So I put in earplugs... no good, I could still hear him and now I was thoroughly ticked off. Filled with anger, I yelled out my window around 4 AM, "SHUT UP, YOU STUPID DOG!!!" I am sure he (and the neighborhood) heard me, but he didn't oblige.
Finally, I grabbed my bedspread and pillow and left my bedroom, closing the door and made a bed on the couch, where I slept until 5:30 AM. Then I went back to my bedroom. To my delight, the punk dog, wasn't still barking. I slept soundly until 6:45 AM... when the pigeons on the ledge started their daily wake up call.